Anonymous asked:

My boss gave me a singing card for my 15th anniversary. It "sings" Surfin' USA. How do I interpret this?

Am I being threatened? Only knives and ultraviolence will make those damn cards shut up. Or is a roundabout way to tell me to go threaten surfers instead?

It's a threat isn't it.

I knew it.

Siri, please Google "how to smuggle cash on plane."

Nah, if they wanted to threaten you with song-induced brain damage, it would be playing "Call Me Maybe".